


you've got a secret smile (and you use it only for me)

by neilwrites



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Exy (All For The Game), Blow Jobs, Crack, Explicit Sexual Content, Hand Jobs, M/M, Pining, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Stupidity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-18 02:42:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28985058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neilwrites/pseuds/neilwrites
Summary: Aaron’s ready to step in the shower when Kevin walks into the bathroom without knocking and says, “Scoot over.”He drops his boxers on the floor, brushes up against Aaron’s equally naked body, and steps into their bathtub.“I—” Aaron guffaws. “I was gonna shower.”Kevin turns the shower on and raises his brow. “Yeah, so? Come in then.”---AKA a ridiculous combination of "they were roommates, oh my god, they were roommates" and "two bros chillin' in a hot tub, 5 feet apart cause they're not gay"
Relationships: Kevin Day/Aaron Minyard
Comments: 13
Kudos: 157
Collections: AFTG Mixtape Exchange 2021





	you've got a secret smile (and you use it only for me)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [vertigo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vertigo/gifts).



> here's my entry for this year's AFTG mixtape event!  
> inspired by the song 'secret smile' by semisonic  
> -  
> anna, seeing your name and realizing I was writing for someone I actually knew gave me a tiny heart attack, ngl  
> I hope you like this absolute crackfest, I had a blast writing it <3

It’s just a  _ little  _ awkward when both Aaron’s and Kevin’s dates from last night walk out into the common area of their dorm room at the same time. 

In fact, it’s only slightly more awkward than when they absolutely heard each other having sex the night before. The walls in this place aren’t very thick, and Aaron has become very aware of the fact that Kevin is a grunter.

Kevin’s date was a screamer, and then Aaron’s date blushed, asked him if he was a competitive guy. He was. Especially when it came to Kevin. It turned into a weird scream-off where they all tried to sound the most satisfied possible, and Aaron’s not entirely sure who won. They all did, he supposes, assuming both Kevin and his date came too. It certainly sounded like it.

“Ah,” Kevin’s date says. “Morning.”

“Morning!” Aaron’s date chippers. She’s far too excited and awake for this time of day, and Aaron hopes he doesn’t have to introduce anyone. He’s not entirely sure what her name is.

“Don’t we have Intro to Psych together?” Kevin’s date asks, followed by, “Wanna walk together?”

They titter amongst themselves for a bit while Aaron inhales his coffee next to a half-naked Kevin Day and resolutely does not look down past his neck.

They leave without a glance back, and Aaron lets out a heavy breath.

“Fun night?” Kevin asks, the corner of his mouth lifting the way Aaron has started to recognize.

“Sure,” Aaron says, his voice still gruff from waking up recently. “Can’t complain. You?”

Kevin pulls a face and laughs. “A bit loud. No?”

Oh, so they’re talking about it this time. It’s not like this is the first time this has happened.

“Well,” Aaron says, trying to spin this into a normal thing for two straight guys to talk about. “It just riled us up more, I guess.”

He chuckles awkwardly and turns to wash his cup out.

“Yeah,” Kevin says. “I heard.”

Aaron turns to see Kevin wink at him.

“Oh,” Aaron says. “You don’t mind?”

“No, man. We both had a good time, right?”

Aaron nods and rubs at the back of his neck. “Yeah. Uh. I need to uh… shower.”

Kevin smiles at him, and Aaron never knows how to describe this version of Kevin’s smile. Can’t really explain why it happens now, or why he knows Kevin has different smiles. He just does.

“Sure man,” Kevin says scratching at his boxers. “I gotta change my sheets anyway. Should I grab yours too?”

Aaron tries not to choke on his own spit. “No, I— uh, I’ll do it later.”

Kevin shrugs and squeezes Aaron’s shoulder before waking off.

The touch still burns when Aaron comes in the shower.

* * *

They’ve been roommates for six months at this point, and Aaron still remembers the day he first met Kevin.

He walked in together with Andrew —because they wanted to fuck with whoever was stuck with him all year— and Kevin had looked up, said “Which one?” and waited as the twins stood there, surprised out of their childish prank.

“Me,” Aaron said eventually, and Kevin nodded, kept carrying boxes that made his arm muscles bulge, taking big strides towards his bedroom on his stupid long legs and Andrew had stared at his ass.

Aaron knows this because he was definitely not doing the same thing.

Their camaraderie grew very fast, partly because Kevin just refused to make anything awkward. Anytime Aaron made a comment where he wanted to slap himself afterward, Kevin just rolled with it, and made sure Aaron never felt like the idiot he most assuredly was.

If Kevin’s cool with it, Aaron’s cool with it, that became the new default.

Which explains when they’re both running late for their morning classes, Aaron’s ready to step in the shower when Kevin walks into the bathroom without knocking and says, “Scoot over.”

He drops his boxers on the floor, brushes up against Aaron’s equally naked body, and steps into their bathtub.

“I—” Aaron guffaws. “I was gonna shower.”

Kevin turns the shower on and raises his brow. “Yeah, so? Come in then.”

_ Oh. _

“Oh,” Aaron squeaks. It’s Kevin, so that means it’s not awkward. He takes one final look at his own body self-consciously, tries to ignore Kevin’s eyes on him, and steps in too.

The bathtub may be big enough to hold both of their wide (Aaron) and muscled (Kevin) bodies, the showerhead can only reach so far.

It turns into this awkward tango where one gets to be under the spray as the other soaps up, and really, what’s Aaron supposed to do when he’s under the spray other than watch Kevin’s hands rub along his own skin, his pecs and his abs, his —holy fuck— his cock and balls.

Kevin definitely knows Aaron’s looking. There’s no hiding it, and he’s sure his face has turned entirely red. Fuck. He’s getting hard.

“I—”

“You want me to do your hair?” Kevin asks.

Aaron jumps on the offer because that means he can turn around and not show his full-blown erection to his roommate.

He didn’t think about the fact that Kevin’s large man-hands would be rubbing and scratching at his scalp, and that it would give him shivers throughout his body, and that it would make precome drip from his cock.

He’s starting to panic, wondering if he could surreptitiously jerk himself off without Kevin noticing even though he’s right behind him, but he’s forced out of this spiral when something brushes up against his asscheek.

Aaron startles, because Kevin’s hands are still in his hair.

“Uh,” he says.

“Oh,” Kevin says. “Sorry about that. You know how it is in the mornings.”

Aaron swallows thickly. “R-right. Sure. Same.”

“Really?” Kevin asks, weirdly interested. 

Aaron can’t move fast enough to stop him when Kevin just hooks his chin on Aaron’s shoulder to look over him, right at where his erect cock is not suffering from stage fright whatsoever.

“Nice, dude.”

Aaron blinks. Sure. This might as well happen.

He turns around to start washing the shampoo from his hair and only realizes what that means once he’s faced with Kevin’s erection, curved slightly to the left.

He quickly looks up at Kevin’s face, caught in the act, but Kevin just smiles at him.

It’s comforting, the smile, and it makes Aaron feel like he’s okay, which is a hard thing to achieve when he’s sober.

Still delivering that glossy smile, Kevin then follows it up with, “I can jerk us off if you do my hair.”

Aaron accidentally inhales some water. Somehow, don’t ask him how but somehow, he manages to clear his throat, look Kevin in the eyes and nod, all before considering what a monumentally fucked up and weird idea that would be.

But, it’s Kevin. That’s his roommate, and Aaron likes him quite a bit, and he hasn’t had a terrible idea yet if you don’t count the time they climbed up the fire escape to get into their dorm room window without checking if they had the right building. They had not.

So, it’s probably fine. Straight guys help each other out, right? It’s just easy like this, they’re both running late (significantly later now that they’re washing each other’s hair, but sure, Aaron’s hair probably needed a wash), they’re both hard, they both deserve a release.

When Kevin's big hand wraps around both of their cocks and their bodies are pulled more flush, Aaron almost drops the shampoo bottle.

His hand is warm, slightly calloused which feels wonderful on the sensitive skin, but it’s nothing compared to the hot feeling of Kevin’s hard member squeezed right against him.

Kevin isn’t much bigger, which Aaron is childishly pleased about, but he’s thicker, which turns Aaron’s cheeks red.

It shouldn’t matter, and it doesn’t. It’s just interesting to think about.

It sort of makes Aaron wonder what it would feel like if he could wrap his hand around him. Them. Maybe next time.

Kevin seemingly remembers they’re in a hurry and starts pulling them both off hard and fast, which Aaron didn’t know he preferred until now, apparently.

He tries to focus and rubs some shampoo in Kevin’s dark locks, annoyed at how high he has to lift his arms to reach. It also brings their faces a lot closer together, and Aaron never realized just how green Kevin’s eyes were, how full his lower lip was, how cute it looks when the corner of his mouth lifts like this, only for Aaron.

Kevin’s hand does this funny little twist upwards and Aaron nearly loses his footing, grabbing hold of Kevin’s bicep and whimpering.

“Fuck, Kevin.”

“Yeah? You close?”

Aaron nods shakily and bites his lip, forgetting about Kevin’s hair completely so he can moan through his orgasm, his come splashing on Kevin’s cock and hand before quickly being washed away.

Kevin keeps his hand on him as he closes his eyes, tugs a bit faster and then comes too, and Aaron stares entranced as he watches the come land on himself.

They stand there for a quiet minute, leaning against each other in the steamy safety of their bathtub before Kevin clears his throat and says, “I gotta rinse.”

Fuck.

“Fuck, yeah, sorry,” Aaron stumbles through his words. “I’m gonna…” He points towards the door. 

He steps out of their tub on shaky legs, grabs a big fluffy towel and escapes to his bedroom to get changed. Fuck, does he have a midterm today?

* * *

Kevin’s dick is offensively nice to look at. When Aaron first saw it, he was mildly impressed, sure, it looked plenty long and thick, like it would please whoever came to touch it.

Aaron has since then done some research. Looking up pictures of dicks. For research. In incognito mode, just to be safe.

So he knows for sure now that Kevin’s dick is unnaturally pretty. And it’s not like it was caused by the flattering lights in their bathroom, where the communal showers have become A Thing, and the mutual handjobs have become Another Thing, because Aaron has seen his dick on multiple occasions now.

Most recently in their living room. Where they were watching porn. Together. With their cocks out. Yet Another Thing that’s been happening.

It honestly didn’t take much to get Aaron on board with the whole idea. For one thing, Kevin has an objectively beautiful cock and Aaron can appreciate nice things.

For another, he’s always horny, so when Kevin walked out of his bedroom with his laptop and a bottle of lube, and the words “Wanna jerk off?”, well, Aaron couldn’t think of any reason to say no. Kevin had a video queued up, and off they went. 

The next time it happens, Aaron already has his sweatpants hooked under his balls when Kevin smiles at him and says “I do you, you do me?”

“Oh,” Aaron says. “Uh.”

Kevin sits down on his right side and starts pouring some lube in his hand, and Aaron pauses in his video search. Kevin always sits on his left. The bro code dictated that they would sit on the couch in a way that wouldn’t make their elbows bump. Kevin being left-handed would sit on the left, and sometimes when Aaron had a pretty explosive finish, he would rest his head on Kevin’s shoulder.

He doesn’t really want to make a fuss about Kevin moving, cause they’re cool about everything and anything. And, to avoid bumping elbows, it makes sense that they just...reach over and help each other out.

It could be fun, just feeling someone else’s hand on his dick, and a little different compared to the feeling of both their cocks being jacked off in Kevin’s tight fist.

Aaron clicks one of the most viewed videos at random and sits back, moans immediately when Kevin wraps his hand around him before Aaron even has the chance to lube up.

“Fuck—”

He fumbles with the bottle as Kevin slumps a bit in his seat, spreading his legs and knocking knees with Aaron.

He doesn’t want to keep Kevin waiting, so he squeezes out some lube and grabs hold of Kevin’s magnificent cock.  _ Objectively  _ magnificent cock.

He hasn’t ever done this to someone else, but he knows what he likes, and he knows what Kevin does to them in the shower, so he tries to spice it up a bit by curving his wrist, by rubbing his thumb on the tip and gently pushing his fingertip into the slit.

Kevin’s big hand wrapped around him makes Aaron a bit self-conscious, but the way he squeezes him at the base and loosens his grip maddeningly around the tip feels so good, Aaron soon forgets about his worries and closes his eyes, not even looking at the video anymore.

There’s moaning in the background, and Aaron doesn’t give a shit if it’s fake because  _ he’s _ moaning too, hears Kevin’s rough grunts right next to his ear.

“Kevin—” Aaron whimpers. “I’m close.”

Kevin grunts, and before Aaron knows what’s happening, Kevin’s other hand is pulling at his thigh until they’re sitting closer together and Kevin has thrown Aaron’s thigh over his own. The naked skin of their hips is touching and it burns, and Aaron bites his lips, tries to keep up with his strokes on Kevin’s dick as he’s being pulled into euphoria himself.

“Faster,” he begs, “Kevin, faster, I’m so close.”

Aaron’s eyes fly wide open when he comes, his back arches away from the couch as his body is thrown into ecstasy, and when he comes back to earth, there’s Kevin.

Kevin, whose hand is still working away at his cock, but slowly, loosely, covered in Aaron’s spend.

Kevin, who smiles at him with the left side of his mouth quirked up, a sparkle in his eye that Aaron confused for mockery the first time he saw it.

Kevin, whose hard cock Aaron is holding in his hand, and it twitches as if to remind him of his duties.

“Shit, sorry,” Aaron stumbles. He resumes stroking, his arm trapped under Kevin’s who is still holding onto Aaron. He’s just petting and fondling him at this point, but it feels nice.

“A little tighter,” Kevin instructs, and Aaron follows. He does the twisting motion again, and it’s fascinating, actually looking at him as he’s doing this. The shine of the lube and precome combined catches the light, and Aaron enjoys interrupting it with his hand. He catalogs when Kevin’s grunts get louder and aims to hit that high again. He wants Kevin to have a good time, he wants him to come, and he wants it to be because of Aaron.

When Kevin comes and shouts out, “Aaron—” Aaron is fascinated by the trajectory of his come hitting his abs, the way small flecks drop onto Aaron’s hand, the way Kevin’s thigh twitches, and by extension, so does Aaron’s.

Just like Kevin did to him, Aaron strokes him through his orgasm, and a little longer too. The video ends, and Kevin lets go of Aaron to grab the wipes, so Aaron releases him reluctantly. It was nice, feeling the warm hard member turn slightly softer in his hand. That’s not weird, is it?

Kevin hands him a wipe and they both tidy themselves up, pulling their pants up and washing their hands.

“You wanna grab some takeout? I’m feeling like fried chicken,” Kevin says with a content smile, and Aaron smiles right back.

No, nothing about this is weird.

* * *

Aaron’s about five beers and three jello shots into this party, and he stopped caring about everything at least an hour ago. He thinks he might have smoked some weed, and if not, he definitely watched some other people do it and inhaled secondhand smoke.

He lost Kevin somewhere between beer number three and four, and he decided not to go looking in the different rooms of the house because he didn’t know what he would find. If Kevin’s hooking up somewhere, good for him.

When Aaron returns from grabbing his sixth beer, Kevin’s in the seat he just left, patting the space beside him. Aaron squeezes between him and the arm of the couch and drops his head. It’s so heavy, and the ceiling is spinning a bit, but it’s not too bad.

“Who’s joining ‘never have I ever’?” 

Some whoops sound off in the crowded living room, and Aaron means to lift his head and join in, but Kevin puts his arm around his shoulders and says, “Maybe take a break.”

Aaron pouts, but since it’s Kevin, who only wants what’s best for him, he doesn’t fight it. He does decide to watch the game happen in front of them, because it’s funny, and he can still answer the questions in his head.

“ _Never have I ever had a one night stand._ ” That one’s easy, and the majority of the people drink.

“ _Never have I ever sent a sext._ ” Well, Aaron’s never sent a dick pic, but he’s definitely sent out ‘wanna come over and fuck’ so that probably counts.

“ _Never have I ever fallen asleep during sex._ ” Once. He tries not to think about it.

“ _Never have I ever walked in on someone having sex._ ” Kevin, once. He started knocking after that.

“ _Never have I ever hooked up with someone just to make someone else jealous._ ” Uh.

“ _Never have I ever doubted my heterosexuality._ ”

“ _Never have I ever fantasized about somebody in this circle._ ”

“Uh,” Aaron mumbles and tries to stand up. “I need water. And air.”

Kevin doesn’t even hesitate and follows him with a steadying hand on his back, first to the kitchen for a bottle of water, then to grab their coats and make their way out of the crowded house.

They step out of the front door and Aaron sits down, leans back against the house, and closes his eyes.

“Shit,” he says.

Kevin sits next to him and hands him the bottle. “Drink,” he says, so Aaron does.

When it’s all done, and Aaron doesn’t feel like he’s upside down and walking on the sky, Kevin helps him up and they start their walk home.

It’s a decently long walk, but the fresh air is doing him good, and he suspects the weed is starting to wear off now too. 

“Feeling better?” Kevin asks after a few quiet minutes, and Aaron nods.

“Yeah, sorry.”

“No problem,” Kevin says. “You seemed a bit out of it.”

“Went a bit too hard, I think,” Aaron chuckles and tugs his jacket zipper up fully, hiding his chin behind the collar. “You good?”

“Yeah, I didn’t drink much.”

“Oh,” Aaron says. “How come?” Kevin’s usually the first to get absolutely sloshed.

Kevin pulls a face, followed immediately by that smile. The special one. The one that always makes Aaron feel good no matter what comes next.

“I was keeping an eye on you, figured it was better if I stayed sober.”

Aaron squints. “You were? I was looking for you.”

“I was.” Kevin nods. “Didn’t want to hog your attention.”

Aaron laughs. “Hog away, dude. You know I have more fun with you than any of them.”

Kevin tugs him closer for a side hug, and Aaron wraps his arm around Kevin’s lower back.

The blissful euphoria of being fucking wasted is starting to make room for stupidity, and it makes Aaron talk about the one thing he does not want to talk about.

“So those ‘never have I ever's, huh?”

Stupid.  _ Stupid _ . 

Kevin looks over. “Yeah?”

“They were… weird, no?”

Kevin shrugs. “Not weirder than usual, I suppose.”

“Hah,” Aaron snorts stupidly, and he would love to shut up but he can’t. “Next thing you know they’ll ask something like, I don’t know, ‘ _ Never have I ever wanted to kiss my roommate _ ’.”

Fuck. 

_ Fuck. _

They stop walking.

“Uh,” Aaron says. Great.  _ Now  _ he can stop talking.

The only thing keeping Aaron from making a run for it is the fact that Kevin’s hand is still on his shoulder, grounding him.

Aaron’s brain is working overtime trying to spin this into normality, but then Kevin, very steadily, asks him, “Would you drink?”

“Hah,” Aaron nervously laughs. “I— Uh… Would you?”

“I would,” Kevin says without needing to think about it. “I’ve thought about it.”

“Oh,” Aaron says. “Well, I— Me too, I guess.”

“Do you wanna,” Kevin starts and pauses to bite his lip, which is almost enough to distract Aaron from his following words. “You wanna try it?”

Uh.

When Aaron doesn’t reply, Kevin keeps talking. “Like, just to see what it’s like? I’m just curious.”

Well. It’s not like Aaron’s not curious. It’s not like this is the first time he’s caught himself looking at Kevin’s lips and wondering what they feel like. 

“Okay,” Aaron croaks. “Do I... How—”

He’s interrupted when Kevin reaches out, cups the side of his face and tugs him closer, then presses his lips against Aaron’s. Aaron grabs Kevin’s coat to steady himself and allows Kevin to kiss him, allows himself to enjoy it, and to kiss him back.

Kevin’s hands on his face fill him with warmth, and Aaron gets lost in it. Kevin’s tongue presses against the seam of his lips and Aaron lets him in, and when that sensation fills him with static inside his brain, he eagerly becomes more active.

He stands on his tippy toes so he can control his moves better, can push back and nip at Kevin’s lips, lick inside, suckle on his tongue.

His eyes are closed and he’s lost to the world, all he knows is Kevin, and it feels good.

Only when he’s out of breath and tired does he let himself move away, just a little bit, still hanging on to Kevin. Their foreheads lean against each other and Aaron refuses to open his eyes for the moment.

This moment deserves to last a little longer.

Kevin sounds hoarse when he whispers, “Aaron,” and that’s when Aaron looks at him.

He’s smiling, which Aaron really should have seen coming. He mirrors it, unsure of what else to do but bask in Kevin’s existence.

The way Kevin looks at him, it’s been hard to describe before. His smiles have filled him with warmth, appreciation, love, and they made him feel like he could do anything. They made him feel special. 

There’s a real possibility Aaron’s in trouble here.

“So,” Kevin says. “Now we know.”

Yes. Now Aaron knows.

* * *

They go home. They go to bed. They don’t talk about it.

Aaron has a bit of a breakdown. Nothing makes sense and everything makes sense. He feels like he doesn’t know himself, or better yet, he feels like he’s only now discovered who he really is.

He knows he should talk to someone about this. Ideally, he would talk to  _ Kevin  _ about this, but Kevin’s the problem. 

That’s not fair. Kevin’s not the problem. Aaron is.

If he tells Andrew about this, he’d laugh in his face. Or maybe he’d be too busy. He’s been dating this dude from his math class even though he refuses to call it dating. Maybe the Minyards have some issues. Maybe mind your business.

If he tells Nicky, he’d cry and tell him everything was gonna be alright. Aaron doesn’t want to cry and he knows with absolute certainty that everything  _ isn’t _ gonna be alright.

That settles it then. It’s time to repress.

* * *

Repressing is more difficult than expected. 

It starts with Kevin in the kitchen the following morning, asking him if he’s okay. He looks sort of worried, and that’s the last thing Aaron needs right now.

“Hah, yeah,” Aaron says. “Got so wasted last night.”

Kevin pauses at the fridge. “Yeah, I know.”

“Anyway, what else happened? Anything I missed? It’s all a blur,” Aaron says while busying himself with their toaster, the safest way to lie to Kevin.

His heartbeat is pounding away and he wonders if Kevin can hear it across the room.

Kevin shuts the fridge. “Just the usual,” he says, voice neutral.

“Oh,” Aaron says. “Good.”

When Aaron’s had his breakfast and doesn’t have a reason not to talk anymore, Kevin asks, “Do you wanna go to the library?”

“Uh,” Aaron says, clearing his throat from stray crumbs. “I’m actually going to Andrew’s.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, sorry. I’ll see you later tonight, though, unless I crash there.”

“Sure,” Kevin says, and Aaron can’t place his reaction since he refuses to look at his face.

* * *

Andrew takes one look at him when he opens his door and just says, “You look like fucking shit.”

“We look the same,” Aaron can’t help himself from saying.

Andrew opens the door more so Aaron can see the guy sitting on a beanbag chair.

“Neil,” Andrew says. Or introduces him, Aaron’s not really sure.

“Hi,” Neil says. “You look like fucking shit.”

Aaron rolls his eyes. “I hate you already.”

They have an understanding, him and Andrew. They don’t tend to talk about personal stuff, they settle for what they can read on each other’s faces, but if that face shows signs of trouble, they will intervene without question.

It doesn’t take long for Andrew to corner him while Neil is in the bathroom.

“Trouble?” he asks, leaning back against his desk.

Aaron shakes his head. “Just… Overwhelmed.”

Andrew nods and settles for that answer. 

“Can I crash here tonight?”

That makes Andrew lift a brow. From Andrew, it means ‘ _ You’ll tell me? Eventually? _ ’ and so Aaron replies with a barely-there nod. ‘ _ I’ll tell you. Eventually. _ ’

After Kevin’s third text of the day, he shuts his phone off.

They play video games, Aaron gets annoyed at how good Neil is and how happy it makes Andrew, and then he gets happy with how happy Andrew is.

It’s enough to make him forget, for a night.

Andrew kicks him out at eight the next morning since both he and Neil have early classes and they need to lock up.

It means Aaron runs into Kevin in their own living room, which he should have known would happen, Kevin is a notoriously early riser.

Sometimes when Aaron’s still half asleep and wanders into the kitchen, Kevin would run his hands through his unruly hair before making him his favorite coffee.

He flattens his own hair with his hand after he sees Kevin.

“Hi,” he says.

“Morning.”

Aaron nods. “Sure is, huh.”

He desperately wants Kevin to make him a coffee.

He desperately wants Kevin’s hands in his hair.

Fuck.

Why the hell does Kevin even wear sleeveless shirts anyway? It’s extremely unnecessary and rude and Aaron’s probably been staring for far too long.

“You okay?” Kevin asks, and instead of calling him out on the arm-staring, he just looks concerned.

Aaron rubs his face and fights the urge to yank on his own hair.

“Yeah, just tired.”

“Wanna watch some tv? I won’t mind if you fall asleep in the middle of it.”

Aaron should probably say no. He should nap in his own bed, or take a shower, but the shower is full of memories, and napping means dreaming, and really it’s just very tempting to sit down on their couch, relax into the cushions and fall asleep on Kevin’s shoulder.

So that’s what he does.

* * *

He wakes up when there’s a knock at their door and Kevin carefully moves him to go answer.

When Aaron opens his bleary eyes it’s to the sight of his favorite Korean take out order, and Kevin’s tentative smile.

It looks off, not like he usually smiles at Aaron. Still similar, but Aaron knows what it’s supposed to look like, and that’s not it.

They eat and watch the rest of the show, even though Aaron has definitely missed several episodes, and they try and act like everything’s okay.

At the end of the night they’re tidying everything up to get ready for bed, and Aaron receives a text from Nicky.

>> you okay? andrew said sth was up.. let’s call tomorrow?

Andrew’s a fucking snitch. 

<< busy tomorrow   
<< andrew’s dating someone

That should get them off his back for now.

He feels grubby and anxious, and he would like some decent night’s rest, so he gets up and says, “I’ll go shower.”

“Oh,” Kevin says, which immediately reminds Aaron. They have an early class tomorrow. That’s when they usually… Anyway.

“Sorry,” Aaron says, as if taking a shower by himself is something to apologize for. It still makes him feel bad.

“No worries,” Kevin says with that same fake smile. He probably knows something is up with Aaron. Probably thinks he’s being a weirdo. He  _ is _ being a weirdo. He made it super weird between them with that kiss he refuses to think about and now Kevin’s probably thinking of ways to let him down gently but Aaron refuses to let them get to that point. He can’t get rejected if he never tells him how he really feels.

So how come it still hurts right now?

* * *

It’s been three days of this awkward tiptoeing around each other. Aaron thought if he just ignored everything for long enough, it would all go away, but instead, his head hurts, his stomach hurts, his heart hurts.

Kevin seems to be giving him his space, even though they still do stuff together, like right now when they’re watching a low-rated movie. If nothing was wrong, they would both be trash-talking it, commenting on the horrible plot, or the bad acting, or anything at all.

Instead, Kevin doesn’t even have his eyes on the screen, too busy texting someone, which means that Aaron’s busy looking at Kevin and wondering who he’s talking to.

He goes to grab them a refill, pondering if he has any right to ask Kevin what he’s up to. When he gets back to their sofa, Kevin makes the decision for them.

“I have a date tomorrow,” he says, pausing the movie neither of them is following.

“Oh,” Aaron says. “Uh… With who?”

“A girl from my history class,” Kevin says, relaxing into his seat.

“Oh,” Aaron repeats. Makes himself nod. Can’t bring himself to say he’s happy for him. “So like, a real date?”

“Yeah,” Kevin says. “Figured it might be time to stop playing around.”

“Yeah.”

Aaron has to remind himself to blink, and to swallow. He’s a little preoccupied panicking.

When Aaron gets too uncomfortable with the silence, he looks up and finds Kevin’s eyes on him, an indescribable look in them.

“Well?” Kevin asks. “Aren’t you going to stop me?”

Aaron’s heart stops. “Why—” He clears his throat. “Why would I stop you?”

“Aaron,” Kevin says. And then he waits. He just looks at Aaron, knowingly. Begging him.

When Aaron thinks he might choke on his own tongue, Kevin smiles at him tentatively, letting him know it’s okay. It’s just that Aaron has to do this thing. He has to make the first move.

He takes in a deep breath, refuses to close his eyes as he says, “Don’t go out with her.”

“Why not?” Kevin asks encouragingly. There’s that coaxing smile, the one just for him, the one Aaron’s addicted to.

Fuck. Fuck it. Okay. Fuck.

“You should go out with me.”

Shit. Holy fuck. He said it. He did it. He can sink into the ground now. 

He waits for the laughter, the accusation, the humiliation, but all he gets, and everything he’s ever needed, is Kevin’s proud smile.

“Okay,” Kevin says.

All the air leaves Aaron’s lungs. “Fuck, really?”

Kevin nods and grins. 

Aaron brushes the hair out of his face and laughs. “Fuck. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve been right here.”

Aaron shrugs. “I wasn’t here yet.”

Kevin tugs him close into a tight hug. “Glad you finally made it.”

This is the closest they’ve ever been, not counting the mutual handjobs, and it’s weird and exhilarating getting to touch Kevin’s body wherever he wants. He can finally grope those thick arm muscles, his abs, the nipped-in waist.

“Can we make out? I really liked when we made out,” Aaron mumbles, already bringing their faces close together.

Kevin chuckles. “You’re admitting you remember it now?”

Aaron glares playfully. “You mean you knew?”

“You were practically sober at that point, babe.”

Fuck.

“Fuck,” Aaron says, biting his lip. “Say that again.”

Kevin smiles, and it makes Aaron’s heart work in double-time. “Babe.”

Aaron groans. “Kiss me.”

“Kiss me yourself, coward.”

They’re grinning too hard to make it comfortable at first, but they make it work eventually. They always do.

* * *

“So how do we, like, do sex stuff?” God, Aaron feels like an idiot.

“What do you mean?” Kevin, bless this man, does not laugh in his face.

“Cause we were both, like, straight. How do we know how to do stuff.”

“Aaron,” Kevin says, eyebrow raised. “I was never straight.”

“What? Yes, you were.”

“I’m bi.”

“What the fuck? Since when?”

“Aaron, baby,” Kevin says, which is very unfair cause Aaron turns fully red. “You’re not this dumb.”

“You know what I meant,” Aaron says, cheeks squished between Kevin’s warm, big hands. “How long have you known?”

Kevin shrugs. “Since I was twelve? Maybe?”

“You never brought any guys here.”

Kevin looks at him pointedly. 

“No way,” Aaron says. “You’ve not been fucking…  _ pining  _ for  _ me  _ for six months!”

Kevin shrugs. “Might have.”

“Shut up,” Aaron says, definitely blushing now. “I feel bad for keeping you waiting.”

Kevin reaches out to lift Aaron’s chin. “You needed time, and I never told you. You’re not to blame.”

“When did you get so sensible, dude?”

“Dude?”

Aaron laughs at the screwed up look on Kevin’s face. “Bro?”

“Now that’s a boner killer right there.”

“Come on,” Aaron grins. “You don’t want me to suck your cock, bro?”

Just like that, the atmosphere changes, because now Aaron’s picturing himself on his knees in front of Kevin, slowly tugging his zipper down and getting his hands and mouth on that thick monster.

“Do  _ you  _ want that?” Kevin asks, voice an octave lower than before.

“Yeah,” Aaron nods frantically. “I just don’t know how…”

“I could show you.”

“Fuck,” Aaron says. “Okay.”

They both take their shirts off, and then Kevin relocates to the floor, shifting Aaron’s legs open to fit in between.

Aaron’s paralyzed with arousal and excitement as Kevin makes him lift his hips to tug down his sweatpants and boxer briefs.

His erection slaps against his own stomach, but Aaron’s more interested in the hungry look in Kevin’s eyes as he reaches out and strokes him, once.

Other people have touched his cock before, but nothing’s ever been this intense.

“Fuck,” Kevin groans. “I’ve been waiting so long to do this.”

He keeps stroking until some spurts of precome have smoothed the way, and Aaron’s clenching his fists in the couch cushions as Kevin comes closer and licks his tip.

He dips his tongue into the slit, rubs it around the head of Aaron’s cock while saliva drips down the shaft.

When Aaron can hardly take it anymore, he whines out, “ _ Kevin. _ ”

Kevin seems to take that as an order, and he fits his lips around the tip of Aaron’s dick, then sucks gently at first, rubbing his tongue on the underside.

It’s straight heat and suction, and Aaron might implode, but then Kevin sinks down, slides Aaron’s cock all the way in and down his throat until he’s nosing at his pelvis before moving up just as fast, short-circuiting Aaron’s brain entirely.

“Holy fuck,” Aaron whimpers. “How do you— You’re magic at this? What the fuck was that?”

Kevin licks at his shiny red, swollen lips. “You liked that?”

“Did I—” Aaron sputters. “I’m gonna come in two seconds flat!”

“That’s okay,” Kevin shrugs cheerily. “We can go again later.”

Aaron can’t reply before Kevin’s blowing him again, tightening the suction and adding his hand to jerk him off when it’s time to breathe.

Aaron wasn’t kidding when he said it wouldn’t take long, and Kevin probably took that as a fucking challenge, because he bumps up the speed of his bobbing, the twist in his wrist, and then he uses his other hand to play with Aaron’s balls, which pushes Aaron over the edge. He pushes at Kevin’s shoulder to warn him, or to hold on tight, but Kevin stays in place and swallows around him until he’s caught every drop.

When he lifts off and licks stray come from his lips, prompting Aaron’s cock to twitch lightly, Aaron’s completely gone. His head’s empty, his balls are empty, all he knows is Kevin is the single sexiest man alive and he can’t believe it took him this long to realize it.

“Fuck,” he slumps back into the pillows and enjoys Kevin’s proud little smile. “You sucked the life out of me.”

Kevin raises up on his knees and tugs Aaron closer before asking, “Can I kiss you?”

He should probably think about that for longer than a millisecond before nodding frantically but it doesn’t even matter that Kevin’s mouth was just swallowing his come; if Aaron has the chance to kiss him, he fucking will.

The taste isn’t even that horrible, it just makes him wonder what Kevin’s tastes like.

When Kevin stops sucking his tongue for long enough for Aaron to pull two brain cells together and move back a little, he groans, “Kevin, can I—”

“Hmm?” Kevin nips at his bottom lip, smoothing it over with his tongue, and Aaron has to manually push him back to get him to focus.

“Kevin,” Aaron says. “Let me suck your cock.”

Finally, that gets his attention.

“Uh,” he says. “Uh, yes.”

“Okay.” Aaron nods. “Uh… Where? Here?”

Kevin squeezes his cock through his pants before standing up. “Bed. So we can snuggle after.”

Well. That does sound very enticing.

Moving to Kevin’s bedroom —he has a bigger bed, posh bastard— unfortunately has the added downside of filling Aaron with nerves. Kevin is apparently a fucking master at blowjobs, so how the hell will he even compare?

They change out of their remaining clothes, and Aaron has to take a moment to just look at Kevin in his entire glory.

Fuck this guy, man. Well. Figuratively and literally. 

Kevin tugs him onto the bed where they first just kiss a little more, calming Aaron’s nerves and working him up again. He could probably get hard again soon, but it’s about Kevin first.

If what he said is right, Kevin has been pining for months, and he deserves to blow his load at Aaron’s hands. Or mouth.

He can feel Kevin’s erection against his hip, and he reaches down to fit his palm around him, reminding him of just how thick he is, and, when he looks down, of how beautiful it is.

He shuffles down the bed and just looks at it, though he doesn’t want to torture Kevin so he slowly jerks him off, just enough to tease while he lets his eyes feast.

“Sorry if it’s not good,” he says apologetically. 

“Fuck,” Kevin groans. “It’s already good.”

Aaron turns red and tentatively licks Kevin’s shaft. It’s a lot hotter than he expected, and addictive. He wants to do it again. He wants to make sure it’s completely wet, covered in Aaron’s saliva. He wants to fit his mouth around him and just sit there.

When his kitten licks cause Kevin to moan, he grows bolder. He licks long stripes, points his tongue when he gets to the tip, uses his spit to make it easier for his fist to slip up and down. He keeps a careful eye on Kevin’s reactions as he works himself up, and finally, when he can’t wait any longer, he wraps his lips around Kevin’s cock. He doesn’t go down very far, sort of tests the weight on his tongue and sees how it feels. He surprises himself when he moans and closes his eyes, enjoying himself.

When he figures out how to cover his teeth and open his mouth far enough to fit the monster that is Kevin, he just lets himself go. After a few tentative bobs, he opens his eyes and checks on Kevin only to find him staring straight at him, pupils blown and biting his lip.

He likes finding out how to do this, but he’s always loved following what Kevin wants more, so he reaches out and grabs Kevin’s hand, guides it on top of his head.

“Fuck,” Kevin whimpers. He tightens his fingers in Aaron’s hair, making him moan at the pull, and then pushes him down gently, making him swallow him down.

It takes a few tries before Aaron’s entirely comfortable, and Kevin always pulls him off when he’s struggling, but Aaron feels safe in his hands, and he can’t wait to prove to Kevin what he can do. Someday soon he wants to be able to suck the soul out of Kevin’s dick, and yes, maybe he’s just a little bit competitive. 

It’s that same competitiveness that makes Aaron hold his ground when Kevin intends to pull him off as his moans get louder, his breathing gets heavier and he can see the ripple in Kevin’s abs. He’s not pulling off, Kevin swallowed his come and so will he, goddamn it.

It’s still a shock when the spurts hit the back of his throat, but he’s determined and he swallows every last bit, licking a last stripe over Kevin’s twitching cock as Kevin falls on his back and swears.

Aaron can now conclude from his extensive research that Kevin’s come tastes better than his. He licks his lips and crawls back on top of Kevin to kiss him and return the favor.

It goes from sloppy to heated quickly as their kisses turn open-mouthed and filthy, their tongues slipping together and groaning into each other's mouths with Aaron’s hands on Kevin’s pecs and Kevin’s hands in Aaron’s hair.

It takes them a while longer and another pair of orgasms before they finally fall asleep.

* * *

Aaron’s a little disoriented when he wakes up and the sun is shining in his eyes, which never happens in his own bed. He turns around to hide from the light and is faced with a naked Kevin in the early morning, which is equally as blinding, but far more attractive.

He’s already looking at him, because Kevin wakes up freakishly early, and he’s smiling at him.

“Good morning,” he says, and his breath doesn’t even smell. Did he sneak out to brush or is he just that blessed?

Aaron covers his mouth with his hand and mumbles, “Morning.”

Kevin grins, and it just fills Aaron with joy. God, they’re gonna be such an annoying couple. He can’t wait to piss off Andrew and his little shit of a boyfriend. Fuck,  _ boyfriends _ , huh?

“Boyfriend,” Aaron says and is immediately mortified he managed to say that out loud.

“Yes?” Kevin says.

“Uh,” Aaron says.

“You rang?”

Aaron snorts unattractively, and it brings Kevin’s gorgeous smile back.

“I love this smile,” Aaron says and fights the urge to feel embarrassed about it.

“This one?” Kevin asks, pointing at his mouth playfully.

Aaron nods and feels himself turn red. “That one specifically.” 

Kevin tugs him close and kisses his forehead. “It’s all yours, baby.”

**Author's Note:**

> many thanks to zan and mandi for organising this event, it's such a fun concept, and I hope there are repeat performances!!
> 
> shout at me on [twitter!](http://twitter.com/neilmoony)  
> 


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